Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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