And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
