Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There r osticjed everywhere
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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