and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
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I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
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