Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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