Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize