My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
