There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize