You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
