Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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