There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
