I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it glows. i had to have it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
