i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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