So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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