Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
