i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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