whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Porn is love you can see.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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