hell yes lets make some ravioli
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
