he shaved USA in his pubs
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
