Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
