what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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