I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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