im six kinds of drunk right now
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
is wine microwaveable?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
