Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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