Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
