my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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