I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
