Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
