Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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