The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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