You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
