Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
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He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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