look no pants
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
