Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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