omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
