ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
