My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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