We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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