Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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