I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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