Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
operation have a gay friend backfired
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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