I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
