i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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