are you so shy because you have an std?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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