Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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