Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
