I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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