I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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