I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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