I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
third nipple confirmed
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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