ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize