fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
