I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
