it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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