Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
