So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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