Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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