her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
