Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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